marlboro man
in dreams, I roamed a vast expanse, an erudite cowboy, who spends life, rearing cattle, trotting nature, devouring books.
the mountains whisper, their vastness, and silence, an unmatched serenity.
oh, but this is real life! be pragmatic, climb that ladder, gain in greenback, rise in status, you'll be set.
I tossed that chance away, through Deep Springs, where you'd work on a ranch, in the quiet of Nevada, away from society, two years of introspection, and from ideas and service, return, and leave a mark.
but I gave it up, trapped over-calculating college admissions, as if admissions were a statistical problem, and the pressures of the age of AI, being pragmatic, I never applied.
a dream un-lived, maybe someday.
- Ian Chan